Out topic for July 6th is about apologizing. This week, think about how and when you say you are sorry. Choose ONE of the questions below and answer it in the comments.
1. When was the last time you sincerely apologized for something? Did it improve the situation?
2. Are you aware of any cultural differences in apologizing in other countries?
3. Can you think of any famous apologies?
4. Would you ever apologize for something that wasn't your fault? If yes, give an example. If not, why not?
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Now watching the soccer World Cup match, I can tell a suitable answer to the qustion 3. It is apologies to Takeshi Okada, who is the coarch of Japan's national soccer team. A lot of fans and media harshly criticized him and thought Japan would not earn any wins in the games. After the team passed the first round, those fans made apologies to Okada through Twitter. An article on Asahi.com says, "It is likely that many skeptical soccer pundits in Japan have been forced to bow their heads toward South Africa."
ReplyDeleteMinami.O
To 4,
ReplyDeleteThat was when I was working. My senior colleague blamed me for what actually the other did had been wrongly done. In this case, I apologized for this though I had nothing to do with because I was really tired and reluctant to explain the truth.
It might be better occasionally to just apologize for what does not injure your reliability and dignity.
Mine is for question2. This is about when I went to the English language school. One day, I could not understand one of the questions from the homework, so I went to see my teacher and asked him about it. I said, "Sorry, can I ask you a question? " Then he said, "You don't need to apologize, you can ask me anytime you want." Maybe I should have started saying "excuse me" instead of saying sorry. Because Japanese people start conversation with apologizing, I translated it exactly in the same way. This was my first time I felt cultural difference in apologizing.
ReplyDeleteT1 Rina
My answer to Q3:
ReplyDeleteI learned that Japanese say "sorry" more than they need to. Japanese think that once they apologize, then the situation will get better. However, this is not true with Western culture. I learned that Westeners only say "sorry" if they REALLY think they are wrong. So, the Japanese way of "sorry" does not correspond with Western way of "sorry".
This evening, when I got on the train, I saw a Japanese man saying "sorry, sorry (I don't know why, but it was in English)" while walking a pathway. I think he meant to say "excuse me", but it is really strange to hear "sorry" in that situation, when he hadn't done anything wrong in particular.
I'd like to answer Q1. Two weeks ago, I caught a cold and couldn't go watching a movie with my friend. Since I asked her to change the date before that, I apologized her sincerely, and she forgave me and worried about me. It took a whole week to get recovered, and we went to the theater at last.
ReplyDeleteNana
I'd like to answer Q3.
ReplyDeleteMy answe to the question is the apology of Bill Clinton, the ex-president of the United States. In 1998, it was revealed that he had an intimate relationship with Monica Lewinsky, and he apologized to the nation for that. His statement in the apology is famous; "Indeed, I did have a relationship with Ms Lewinsky that was not appropriate."
T1 syunta
I'd like to answer question 1. Two days ago, I apologized to my friend that I can't go to her concert because of my schedule. I made my tone of my voice and facial expression in a sorry mood. So she wasn't angry and admitted that I'm busy.
ReplyDeleteT1 Akiko
I will answer the Q4. I work at supplementary private school. When a student get a bad score on a test, even he/she didn't study hard, I apologize to his/her parent.Not only my case, but most of business people have to apologize to their customers when something wrong occur.
ReplyDeleteIn Japan, there is a maxim,'a customer is a god.'
Yohei Yasuhara
To Q2:
ReplyDeleteWhen I was in Canada, I often used an English word "sorry" for many occasions (as I use "sumimasen" in Japanese, and guess many Japanese people would do). Then one day, my Canadian friend suddenly asked me, "Well... For what? Why are you sorry? If you wanna thank, just say 'thank you'. That's totally enough and reasonable."
I was so shocked with what he said that I even felt being intimidated. But at the same time, I realized that Japanese expression "sumimasen" means both thanking and apologizing and that I have been using the single word for two quite different meanings.
Now, I try to figure out what feelings I want to convey to others first without always using "sumimasen".
Nike
Q.3
ReplyDeleteJapanese politicians and presidents of companies must apologize, when something scandalous happens. Then they often use the word “ikan”(遺憾) like “ I feel ikan about that”. But technically and linguistically, it dose not have any apologetic meaning but just means “regret”. So, it means that they do not apologize for anything if they regret something scandalous. However, “ikan” has been already the word for apologize in official situation.
Sentaro
I would like to answer the question 2.
ReplyDeleteI traveled to America in last spring vacation. When I bought souveniors at a shop, the salesclerk made an error in calculating the price. She noticed the error and corrected it, but she never apologized to me. I was surprised at her attitude. It is natural in Japan that people apologize to someone when they make a mistake. However, the custom is not natural in all countries. I felt a cultural difference of apology.
Satomi Yoneyama
I'd like to answer Q4.
ReplyDeleteI have apologized for something that wasn't my fault many times. The other day, for example, I went to a restaurant with my friend. When we chose our dishes from a menu, I raised my hand and said,"SUMIMASEN". I said this word to call a waiter, and it wasn't my fault.
This is a conspicuous example, but in Japan there are a lot of situations like this. The Japanese easily apologize for something, even if it isn't their fault.
Yusuke
I'd like to answer Q3.
ReplyDeleteThe former Prime Minister of UK, Gordon Brown called a voter "bigoted woman" without noticing his microphone was still on. His utterance was broadcasted and he immediately appologize on the radio show. Furthermore, he went to her house in person to apporogize again directly. This scandal damaged his reputation and he lost the election which held a week after that.
Minami
Q4 -YES
ReplyDeleteTo avoid conflicts, sometimes I do apologize to something which is not my fault. My father, for example, is sometimes very stubborn, so, to manipulate him, I sometimes act like I'm really sorry from my heart, -which rarely succeeds.
I would like to answer question 3. This question reminds me of Ashikaga Incident, the 1990 murder of a 4-year-old girl in Ashikaga, Tochigi Prefecture. It's known as a famous case of false accusation. As a suspect, Mr.Toshikazu Sugaya was falsely charged in that case and spent 17 years behind bars. In 2009 his innocent was proved and the prosecution apologized to him officially. It was very big news of last year.
ReplyDeleteMickie Yamanari
I'll answer Q1. Last week, I forgot to turn off an air conditioner in workplace and I went home. So, when he comes here in the next morning, my boss felt very cold and I had the shop spent waste cost of electricity. I felt very sorry then. I apologized to him from my heart. Although I think I would be scolded, he forgave me.
ReplyDeleteT1 Akihiro Yamaguchi
Hi everybody,
ReplyDeleteWhen I first came to Japan I noticed people apologize a lot, but I think sometimes they don't really mean it - it's just something to say. In America, I feel like people only apologize when they are really and truly sorry... but they don't always apologize when they should!
I'd like to answer question2.
ReplyDeleteI have the image of Japanese people always apologizing. Especially towards seniors or to customers, I feel that we tend to automatically apologize when we make even the slightest mistakes or even just when we find something that feels wrong.
But when I went to London last year, every one I bumped into at the station apologized to me. On the other hand, at the Tokyo station, I feel that many people now don't say anything even when they are obviously responsible for pushing people.
Kaori Itakura
I would like to answer Q1. Last week, I was to meet my friend at Shinjuku. But Just before the time fixed for meeting, I asked her to change the place, so I apologized. But she has a big heart, she forgave me.
ReplyDeleteT1 Hideto Takamura
I would like to answer question 3. I said sorry to my mother when I forgot to send her back an e-mail because I fell asleep for a while. We cannot find what other people are doing when we communicate by e-mails, so some troubles might happen to us when exchanges of e-mails are stopped.
ReplyDeleteFutoshi
answer to question 4.
ReplyDeleteYes, I would. if it isn't something too serious and my apologies make the situation better. Say like, at my part-time job, I would apologize to a costomer for the thing that was done by my co-workers.
Yurika
I would like to answer the 4th question.
ReplyDeleteThe other day, my co-worker splashed a bottle of wine on me, and the chef at the kitchen scolded him for that. Surprisingly, he started to put the blame on me for a strange reason, but I just apologized to him, since he has been working at the job much longer than me and taught me how to do this or that at work. I also knew that he was a nice person, so I didn't want to make him lose his face in front of the chef.
Ayaka.M
I will give a comment on #4. I have apologized for my co-worker's fault when I was working as a convenience store worker. At that time one of my co-worker forgot to hand a curry rice over to customer. The customer realized that he didn't get it and came back to our shop angrily. I checked and fined that the curry rice was still in the microwave. I apologized very much instead of my co-worker. From the view of customer, whether we are staff members or part-time-job workers are doesn't mind. All we have a responsibility to apologize to customer when one of us did a fault.
ReplyDeleteSatomi Yoshida
I would like to anwer Q2.
ReplyDeleteIn my opinion, Japanese people easily say sorry to their friends or acquaintances, while they do not apologize to stranger. It may very peculiar situation but in the station or train, people do not apologize when they bump into others.
However, I found the opposite case in my trip to London. When people bumped into others, they always said 'sorry'. At first I was very suprised at this, but during my travel, I came to say 'sorry' too when I bumped into someone.
Misato Noto
To answer the question 2, I think that Japanese way of apologizing is unique in its use and frequency, compared to European countries. Japanese people tend to express apology when they have someone do something for them. Japanese people seem to show feeling of appreciation to somebody saying "sorry," instead of saying "thank you." I think the reason might come from that Japanese feel sorry for consuming time and energy of others or inconvenience for them when asking them a favor. This might give confusion to people who come from different cultures when they encounter these situation of Japanese apology.
ReplyDeleteT1 Yoshihiro
Q1
ReplyDeleteIt was the night when England and Germany played when I apologized for the last time. I was bullying my British friend before the game, saying “Don’t you cry tonight” (Guns and Roses’ lyrics) or answering to the question: “Whom are you supporting?” like “Does it matter? England will lose any way!”. As everyone had predicted, England lost and lost dramatically. My friend was very sad and I felt very bad for him. So, I wrote him a message saying “Please don’t get upset because England lost. It is a wonderful country and it does not matter if you are in World Cup or not. Sorry if I were rude tonight – I didn’t mean to offend you”. In his reply, he apologised for being “not funny” and explained that it was too much of stress for him. After Brazil has lost, he wrote me a supporting message: “You still have Spain”. I guess, my apologising worked.
Anna
I'd like to answer Q2.
ReplyDeleteI remember my teacher said that French people's favorite phrase is "Ce n'est pas ma faute.", which means "It's not my fault." They do not appologize, especially in case of traffic accidents.That's because they have to pay a penalty if they easily admit their fault.So, my teacher suggested that we have to be careful not to apologize easily in such cases, as we Japanese tend to say "sorry" even if we do not really think we are to blame for accidents.
Saki Ito
I would like to answer question 4. I will apologize even if it is not my fault if it result in protecting people I like very much. But except those cases, I never apologize because it is totally unjust. Some costomers claim badly in the convenience store and I have to apologize as one of the staffs but I just say the apologizing words faltly.
ReplyDeleteI do not want to be made to apoligize unreasoningly also in the future, but maybe it is impossible. I want our culture change in the future and more and more people keep attitude of not apologizing in such situation.
T1 Yumi Mizuno
I answer Q1. Last weekend, when I was working I made a mistake and apologized for it to my coworker. Since I also explained the situation in which I made a mistake and how I felt and thought about it, coworker understood me and kindly told me the best way to prevent such a mistake.
ReplyDeleteASSAN (Asami Sawada)
I'd like to answer Q4.
ReplyDeleteWhen I was in junior high school, I belonged to a brass band club. In the third year, I became a leader of clarinet part.
My teacher often scolded me for my joniors were out-oftune or could not match with the sound of other instruments.
Although the shortage of ability to play clarinet well was not my falt but my juniors', I apologized because I thought a leader had responsibility to his/her juniors and the role of a leader would include that pointing out what my juniors' weak points were, teaching them how to play well and encouraging them to practice harder.
Yuko
Q4
ReplyDeleteI sometimes apologize for something that isn't my fault in working at a fast-food restaurant. Some costomers make a complaint about something that is not so bad, or is my co-worker's fault. I don't feel sorry about it, but if I don't apologize to these costomers, they never come again to the restaurant, so I say "Sumimasen".
I was surprised when I went to Australia, and had a lunch in a fast-food restaurant. The employees who were working there were very rough and unpleasant to costomers.
Rie Nishimura
I'd like to answer Q1. When I was late for my part time job for 1 hour and kept my coworker working 1 hour longer for making up my lateness, I apologized sincerely between tears and my coworker sympathized and forgave me. In retrospect, I shouldn't have cried when I apologized because I just wanted forgiveness and I couldn't tell her how sorry I was.
ReplyDeleteYumiko Nomura T1
As some others said above, Japanese say “Sorry” and “I’m sorry but...” too often than native English speakers. I always thought that when I was in Australia. My Japanese friend said “Sorry” so many times. We consider saying sorry as kind of politeness, since we use it in Japanese as such. However, I haven’t seen people from other countries using “sorry” as often as Japanese. Thus, I imagine that in Japan we see foreigners who don’t say “sorry” as a bit rude, and in foreign countries, we are thought as too polite or modest.
ReplyDeleteEri
I'd like to answer Q1. A little while ago, I was drinking with my friends. But I had to go back home because I have your class tomorrow morning. So I apologized to my friend for my going back home. But they didn't forgive me and they said I have to drink with them until morning! Finally, I escaped from them...
ReplyDeleteYoshiki Yajima
I'd like to answer question 4. I sometimes apologize for something that isn't my fault in order to settle problems smoothly.
ReplyDeleteLast week, I had a part time job at a university in Kanagawa. During I was working, there was a little trouble which occurred by a miscommunication between the university and the company which I work for. Because I was the only person who was related to the company, I had to respond to those claims. Though it was not my fault, I apologized for the misunderstanding . The situation settled, but I didn't feel good.
Takaho Mikami
Q4
ReplyDeleteI would, if it were towards customers. Most people have to care about their customers in jobs. Especially in Japan, we always HAVE to have the spirit of "omoiyari",which means to take a sympathetic attitude towards customers.
An example is when train accidents occur because someone fell into the railway to commit a suicide. Even it was that person's fault, the workers of the station and the conducter of that train always apologizes to all the customers. Their sincerity may calm some people's anger.
Ayaka Kawashima
I will answer the question 4. When I worked part-time in a restaurant yesterday, I apologized though it was not my fault. A costomer ordered two "rebasashi (raw liver)" but it had already sold out at that time. So I apologized sincerely to the costomer for it.
ReplyDeleteShiori